her (hi)story

Wednesday, January 17

Heyy...

Its nearly to 1am and i'm suppose to be in bed by now but certain things are just bothering me that i need to let it out..the people whom i normally confide to are either asleep or unreachable for now..so i guess i just have to blog it out..
I suddenly doubting his sincerity towards me..i dont know why..but suddenly i was thinking twice and thrice about it..seriously im already starting to like him but his surrounding and friends are making me feel insecure..im not sure whether i can trust him or not..im not sure whether hes sincere towards me or not..at one point i have all the confidence in him then in another i can just go scare about the things that might happen to me..even Yaya somehow doubt him..eventhough she didnt tell me but i can sense it from her..i wonder sometimes how i know i like him..i know i can see myself in his arms but the moment Hayda flash into my mind the nightmare some how appear..the feeling of being left alone and being ditch in time when she need the person she loves the most left me feeling scare..scare of being left like that..
Maybe im too scare of getting hurt again that im always doubting guys..im always questioning their sincerity and their intention..im always thinking negative of them..i just dont know..im afraid of gettin hurt i guess..

Hope i can clear all these doubts i have towards him and also guys..i really want to move on and start something new..

Anyway..

I actually had a great start to my day.. i wasnt rushing in the morning..had a great lunch with Yaya at Arnold's..she was treating me back after i treat her last mth..haha..after work when to Citylink to get waffles at Gelare with Yana,Yaya,Mus,Acid and also Siddiq..haha..we had a great time thou mine was spent half of the it counselling a friend over the phone..haha..but it was all good..:)

My headache is back and i guess i need my sleep..tomorow got meeting in the morning..darn..
Nytes ples...

:)